As Trump and Kim positioned themselves to sign copies of the agreement I, for a very brief second” saw Mel Brooks, in his Blazing Saddle role as governor, sitting in for Trump.
I wonder if Brooks was the director of that Singapore dog and pony show?
STARBUCKS: Starbucks opened its first coffee shop in 1971. Today there are over 28,000 shops spanning the globe. As the fringe right likes to say, that’s a lot of soldiers in the war against Christmas!
I’ve taken Ambien for years to help me go to sleep. Sleep was never a problem until a couple of back to back surgeries about ten years ago. As many of you know, Ambien has side effects that include sleep walking. We’ve talked about this before and many of you Ambien users have such stories to share.
Anyway, couple of months ago I decided to try something different and my doctor wrote me a script for Lunesta. While it did put me to sleep it left such a horrible aftertaste in my mouth that I just had to give it up and go back to Ambien. So here’s my latest Ambien story.
Continue reading Another Ambien Story
I’m tired of being the only person with a conspiracy theory to share so I’m now taking my turn.
I turned on Morning Joe and the truth just seemed to flow forth. It began with a series of video clips of Trump talking about how greedy he is and has always been. Scarborough, having been around Trump on numerous occasions, gave credence to money being of extreme importance to Trump. He said that Trump was the guy who would not let someone else make a buck off him unless he got a cut.
The topic then turned to yesterday’s revelation that Mike Cohen had established one or more shell companies to channel money through. So far investigators have found that over four million dollars have passed through these shell companies and it seems to have come from various companies, one with foreign connections, seeking access to Trump. If this proves the case it foretells legal problems for Cohen because he has not registered as a lobbyist or agent of a foreign entity.
Continue reading My New Conspiracy Theory, Trust Me!
It’s a beautiful thing to witness the openness that suddenly appears when a politician decides to not seek reelection. Senator Orrin Hatch of Utah has decided not to run again and Mitt Romney has stepped forward to seek his open seat. Just like Senators Flake of Arizona and Corker of Tennessee, he now has no fear of speaking out. Check out this video of him tossing around the “dumbass” moniker.
SAYINGS: One of my all-time favorite sayings is, “If they don’t have a sense of humor, fuck ’em!”
Many of you are familiar with Trae Crowder, The Liberal Redneck. He’s kind of a liberal version of Jeff Foxworthy except that he says “fuck” a lot. I find him funny and often dead on in his social and political rants. Here’s Trae’s most recent take on what happened in Florida and some of the solutions offered.
- Trump is the first occupant of the White House who has been given carte blanche to make shit up while providing zero evidence.
- It’s been said that Trump Tweets while sitting on the toilet each morning. I’m thinking his most angry, ridiculous, and outrageous Tweets come from those times when he is the most constipated.
- If Obama did tap Trump’s phones it suggest a federal judge saw sufficient evidence of wrongdoing to justify a warrant.
- In one February Ohio week we had the highest temperature ever recorded, followed by plummeting temperatures and spitting snow, and finishing up with a tornado that left a 7-mile track through Highland County.
- Old Chinese proverb, “Be wary of autocratic rulers with goofy fucking haircuts.”
Continue reading Recent Random Ramblings
Being a political junkie and having Trump in the White House makes it almost impossible to have a random thought that is not political. Consider this a warning.
- I just spent four hours shredding documents in what is supposed to be a paperless society.
- I’m becoming paranoid about Trump being paranoid.
- Since January 20, 2017 I’ve had a solid reason to get out of bed and turn on the TV. Unfortunately I’m getting to be a historical eyewitness to the Trump directed meltdown of America.
- The older you get the less you are aware of popular culture. Driving past a multiplex I didn’t recognize a single movie title on their bill board.
- I’ve often wondered what should be the measure of having too much money. Possibly it’s being able to afford to rent a rocket to take you beyond the moon and back.
- All presidents should stop using war widows and victims of violence as political props in their speeches.
- Politicians need to immediately stop putting party before people. They should begin and end any legislative thought by asking if the consequences honestly serve the betterment of the general population.
Continue reading More Random Thoughts
Many Americans and citizens of other nations are worried about the coming of Trump. I’ve given this some thought and concluded that nothing can be done to totally shield us from the harm that precedes the arrival of this so ill prepared politician. All we can do is work on what we can to lessen the damage he is capable of.
The one solution I’ve arrived at is to distract and keep him distracted. We all know is his Achilles heel is his ego and how difficult it is for him to manage that ego when it’s been challenged. To date, anyone who has insulted him has ended up being counter attacked in the next day’s Twitter cycle. At the recent Golden Globe Awards Meryl Streep laid into him pretty hard about some of the things he did during the election. Next morning we were treated with a streak of anti Streep tweets from Trump’s Twitter Tower, (Please notice the wordplay!).
Continue reading Stars to the Rescue!
Saw a meme on Facebook that brought back a couple of incidents. The meme showed two tubes sitting on a bathroom sink. One was a tube of Colgate toothpaste and the other a tube of Cortizone cream. I shouldn’t have to tell you what had happened but if I do I’ll do it this way.
Years ago I walked into the bathroom, grabbed my toothbrush, reached in the vanity drawer for my tube of toothpaste, put some on my brush, and began to clean the morning scum off my choppers. Instantly I was aware that something was wrong. Instead of toothpaste I was brushing with Preparation H.
My Aunt Kate was in the habit of keeping most of her medicines on the top shelf of her refrigerator. She had some sort of nasal congestion and would occasionally go to the fridge, grab a spray bottle of decongestant, and spritz her nose. She did this on one occasions and instantly realized her nasal passages were entirely slammed shut.
Instead of decongestant spray she had grabbed the spray can of denture adhesive and filled her nose with glue.
Now, haven’t we all done something similar. Feel free to share your experiences.
Today I had lunch with two of my closest high school friends. All three of us are seventy-four years old, in pretty good health, and can mentally hold our own. The main differences between today and back then is we are all more gnarly and we move slower. Anyway, when we were saying goodbye one of us suggested we have lunch again, “before one of us dies!” For whatever reason the following story I wrote in 2004 came to mind so I decided to republish it. Enjoy!
A Few Thoughts On Heaven and Hell
Published June, 2004
As of this month, I am officially an old person. I recently turned age 62, filed for Social Security and within days should receive my first Social Security check. So, now that I’m old I’ve decided to spend a little time thinking about heaven and hell: since that’s what old people seem to do a lot.
We all know about the heaven and hell of the Bible but there are lots of others, especially hells, of a more worldly nature. For example, General William Tecumseh Sherman once uttered something about war being hell while General George Patton felt that war glorified the best in humanity.
Continue reading Heaven & Hell Revisited
You all know how pissed I am about Trump winning the oval office. While I’ll never be able to make lemonade out of that turd I am assembling a list of things that did go the right way.
- After six terms of making life miserable for Latinos, the voters have finally taken Joe Apraio’s badge away. The icing on this cupcake of shit would be to see him locked up and wearing pink Fruit of the Looms.
- A few more women are headed for Washington to take their places in the US Congress.
- While I’m not a user I’m glad to see that stoners continue to make progress. It may be just a matter of time before I have to buy me a bong and take up the Devil’s herb just to numb just knowing there’s a Trump in the White House.
- I’ve not been a consumer of porn for several decades. Not since learning just how deep Linda Lovelace’s throat was. But, for those who are I’m glad that California voters approved a bill banning the requirement that porn actors wear condoms during sexual activities.
Continue reading What Went Right
This came out of a living room conversation last week. It’s an old joke that remains funny to this day.
There’s a revival meeting going on at a local Pentecostal church and the evangelists is at the pulpit encouraging everyone to come forward and confess to their sins. His message is nothing is too bad in the eyes of the Lord and there is no limit to what the Lord will forgive.
After many of people had confessed and been forgiven an old man in the back raises his hand and is encouraged to confess to his sin. The man begins telling a story about how he’d been out fishing and in the spur of the moment decided to have sex with a nearby goat.
The man reported every last detail of the incident expecting the preacher and the congregation to praise him and openly welcome him into the fold.
Instead, the minister sternly and scornfully looked down at the man and said, “Damn brother, I don’t think I’d a told that!”
Every time something new comes out about Trump’s sexual behaviors I expect the public to say, “Damn Donald, I don’t think you should have done that!”
Instead we typically get silence or some reason to absolve him of his behavior. I’ve never witnessed this sort of response towards a person seeking the highest office in the land.
I gotta wonder if Trump could screw the goat and unlike the old man in the story, the minister would tell the congregation pat him on the back, shake his tiny hand, and to give him a big ole’ atta-boy!
The law in the United States says that nation elections will be held on the first Tuesday after the first Monday in the month of November. Ever wonder why?
Well it’s not in the Constitution but it can be found in an 1845 law that established Tuesdays because it didn’t interfere with the Sabbath or market day, which was traditionally Wednesday.
So if you have a problem with Tuesdays blame it on Christian farmers having too much power.
Ironically John Oliver, who is British, explained this on his Sabbath night HBO program, Last Week Tonight.