A Few Thoughts About Yard Sales

As many of you know, I love a good yard sale and often plan my fishing excursions so I can hit the sales on the way to and from some warm body of saltwater. As yard sales go I’m a relative newcomer, having only gotten involved in the past ten years. But, I think I’ve amassed some knowledge that others may find useful. Here, in no particular order, is my ever-expanding list of dos, don’ts, and whatevers:

  • Rich people don’t have yard sales if for no other reason than they don’t want you driving around their neighborhoods. Hell, I’m not even sure rich people have neighborhoods, I think they live in enclaves.
  • Younger people rarely own anything of real value. About all you’ll find at their sales are used children’s clothing, used sports equipment, and last year’s most popular toys. 
  • The new McMansion subdivisions are filled with people who own far more crap from Bed, Bath & Beyond than they could use in three lifetimes plus tons of imported Christmas decorations.
  • The only thing that may equal the volume of clothing found at yard sales is glassware.  If glass were food we could feed the world.
  • Older people have the best junk and if you’re lucky you’ll pull into their driveway as they are downsizing for their move into assisted living.
  • Don’t ever buy anything electronic from a guy with only one front tooth and wearing a John Deere cap.
  • Never trust anyone who tells you a fishing reel is brand new but it is half-spooled with line and you can see the remains of half a dried up night crawler stuck to the level-wind gearing.
  • If the seller says, “They’re selling all-day long on eBay for twice what I’m asking,” they’re NOT!
  • Take a few bucks extra just in case you see something one of your grand kids would like. Just make sure that over a course of time you treat them equally!
  • If it’s marked “firm” but is still a bargain, buy it.
  • If it’s not marked “firm” never give the asking price, always negotiate. People go to retail stores to pay full-price, not yard sales!
  • If it runs on electricity ask if you can plug it in!
  • If there is something you actually need and you’re not in a hurry, sooner or later it will show up at a yard sale.

Finally, I wish there were a good verb to describe the act of attending yard sales. I keep wanting to say that I’m going yard saleing but saleing isn’t a word. I could say I’m going yard sailing but one sails on water, not grass. If I were going to a couple of Saturday morning auctions most people would understand if I said I was going auctioning. But, would they understand if I said, “I’m going yarding?”

2 thoughts on “A Few Thoughts About Yard Sales”

  1. Well you could say you are going junking or going treasuring, depends on if you want to look at the glass half full or half empty…lol

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