Several weeks ago some Facebook friends were sharing stories about embarrassing moments they had suffered through. At the time I couldn’t think of any thing to share that wouldn’t wear my fingers down trying to type it. Well, thanks to a recent cruise experience, I now have one.
Early in the cruise my wife, a friend, and myself had been near the ship’s casino competing in a trivia tournament. Afterwards I told them that after stopping off at our cabin I was going to get in some walking. That said I headed for the room and then to the upper decks of the ship where lots of walking space is available.
After walking several laps among the sunbathers on the 10th deck I dropped down to the 9th and walked around the crowded buffet restaurant areas and the swimming pool areas before going back to the Promenade Deck. I then walked through the casino, the jewelry store, the gift store, stood at a rail overlooking the piano lounge on the Lobby Deck and listened to a couple of musicians entertaining the guest.
Then I headed back to a rear lounge where an art auction was taking place. Upon entering I saw my wife and joined her sitting on a long bench near the center of the room. When the auction was coming to a close I said “see ya” and got up to leave.
Three steps at the most and she says in a muffled but very firm voice, “Larry, come here!” I turned, looked at her and she said, “Come here and sit down!” Doing what I was told I sat back down and she quietly whispered in my ear, “You’ve got about 8″ of toilet paper hanging out below your t-shirt!” Sure enough, since leaving our cabin a couple of hours earlier I had been walking all over the most heavily populated areas of the ship with a foot long piece of TP hanging down exactly in the middle of my rear end.
As nonchalantly as possible I gathered it into a ball, got up, and exited the room. For the rest of the cruise I remained convinced that everyone on board recognized me as that fat old man with the white tail! For a while I considered shaving my beard off, getting a hair cut, buying a pair of dark glasses, and having my name changed.